In February of 2005, I’d had enough.
I’d had enough of the pain, enough of the desperation and hopelessness, the futility, the thoughts of suicide, the arrests, the broken relationships. I was tired, exhausted from endless attempts to control what was uncontrollable, to manage this driving impulse, chemically altering mind and body to function… all to survive another day, to suppress the reality of my condition, to endure the grinding drudgery of the disease of addiction.
I found AA and later, NA. I worked steps. And slowly, I got better.
Over the years that followed, I became something of an AA geek. I hold that title proudly, rarely apologizing for finding so much love and purpose and joy in giving back, nor in the fact so many of my intimate relationships are bound by ties of surviving disaster together. It is with great pleasure I can report that I am not alone. Many, many other men and women with decades of recovered living under their collective belts have shared similar stories, have explained steps and principles and concepts vital to staying clean and sober, have offered up the details of their lives so we who follow can find something to relate to.
Here you will find curated speaker tapes, many of which are very important to me. I’ll try to make sure they can all be downloaded or played from the site and will also try to keep them somewhat organized by topic. Listen. Take notes. Grow.